Mysty Pfeffer“Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life” (Prov 4:23, HCSB)
As an adult I understand guarding the heart is pivotal to walking victoriously. However, the ears of my young heart failed to understand this life source. Stubbornly unaware of protecting it fiercely above all else, I left it unguarded. Saying farewell to the ways taught through childhood, I sauntered headlong into living my way.
I soon began to feel the effects of an unguarded heart, physically and spiritually. Just as I see it now, among my friends and acquaintances. Its impact infiltrates my church family, too. We are all subject to its slowly eroding repercussions if we don’t fully submit to the saving grace of Jesus and protect our hearts by doing what He says.
We are vibrant people, loving life and others, yet continually trying to overcome lingering bitterness of the soul without Him at the helm of our lives. It’s easy to succumb to the pressure of our culture and live as though we are in control. We are taught that in the school room. Frequent messages of, “You can do anything you set your mind to in life” are often motivators to equip children toward achieving goals.
What if we equipped them to understand instead, life is hard, unfair, and sometimes cruel? But we have a Savior who is ready and willing to join us in our journey. He understands cruelty and hatred because experienced it first hand. What if parents used every cruelty and unkindness experienced by their children as an opportunity to teach them about Jesus? Furthermore, how do we as parents and grandparents do this on a daily basis instead of depending on the church to do this one or two hours a week?
Like many others, my early years were in church, learning of God’s goodness and mercy. I became very aware of my need for him at age 9. I decided to follow Him, accept Jesus as Lord and Savior and be baptized. Although the foundation was laid and my parents set a good example in the way they lived, they lacked good communication skills.
The firm foundation waivered, as my family drifted from the church of my childhood and began to steer their own way. I easily fell to peer pressure and desire to be accepted by others just four short years after accepting Christ. The pull of culture can happen so effortlessly at such a tender age. I hope my story can help another mother set up the necessary reinforcement in her daughter’s life to combat the danger of waywardness.
I remember, at 13 sobbing and begging God to ease the confusion of my warring spirit. A darkness was consuming my mind, my will, and emotions. I truly felt, I just could not measure up, or be the person He wanted me to be. So, I gave up. I lived for myself and for the world from that point on, and although I knew Him, I did not follow Him or His truth.
The place of waywardness is where my heart took the brunt of attacks from the enemy.
The next 17 years were ups and downs, highs and lows. I was an easy target. Yet, in spite of my stubborn resistance, God was faithful.
He continued wooing me back to Himself and allowing things to happen that simply destroyed my biggest enemy……my pride. When I refused to fully humble myself, He humbled me.
I do not recommend it. I want others to be wiser than I, closely examine their lives and hearts and see where they are living at the whim of their unreliable mind, will, and emotions. Because they will never fix it on their own. Nor will relying on short-term interventions like self-help books, yoga, mantras, or meditation.
Furthermore, the entire concept of guarding is to protect something of great value. God values our hearts. There is nothing more valuable than the place that houses our eternal souls. Although our efforts to guard it are noble, they are inefficient. The sly enemy is deceptively convincing us we are in control, when we are not. Look at the following proverbs to understand this dire situation:
- Psalm 141:3 Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over my lips!
- Proverbs 2:8 guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints.
- Proverbs 2:11 discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you,
- Proverbs 4:6 Do not forsake her, and she will keep you; love her, and she will guard you.
- Proverbs 4:13 Keep hold of instruction; do not let go; guard her, for she is your life.
- Proverbs 5:2 that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge.
- Proverbs 13:3 Whoever guards his mouth preserves his life; he who opens wide his lips comes to ruin.
- Proverbs 13:6 Righteousness guards him whose way is blameless, but sin overthrows the wicked.
- Proverbs 16:17 The highway of the upright turns aside from evil; whoever guards his way preserves his life.
- Proverbs 22:5 Thorns and snares are in the way of the crooked; whoever guards his soul will keep far from them.
God is reliable and you and I can trust Him with our most vulnerable and prized possession. Listening to His warning to fiercely protect our hearts preserves our lives. (Prov. 3:13)
His standard, set forth in His word, teaches me how he wants me and my child to live. How do we know what that standard is, in this temporal world, if we don’t read the Bible daily together? If we fail to attend a place of worship and fellowship, how do we remain respectful to God’s word and teach our children to do the same? By making the mistake of comparing ourselves to others and the way they live, we miss the way God wants us to live!
Furthermore, we miss the way He wants me to talk, to behave, to love and to disciple our children. In His word is the place where heart change happens. Putting others above ourselves is a term of endearment to God, not a sacrifice. It shows how much we return His great love and sets an example for our children to do the same.
The deep and abiding relationships springing from this reflection of our Savior, persuades others to want the freedom Jesus offers. A freedom from bitter, hardened and unguarded hearts. Well meaning lessons in childhood may still not be enough, no matter how attentive and intentional our parents are in raising us to know the Lord. Although, having a keen eye to her child’s mannerisms and changes in behavior is helpful in deflecting rebellion; figuring out who she really is on her own is essential.
During these years of uncertainty all momma can do is pray and offer gentle reminders of who she is in Christ. Guarding her heart starts with guarding her body, it’s an honor and a privilege. The callous, thoughtless exposure of it among her peers and culture sway her easily to believe otherwise. However, the deep rooted connection of body and soul can’t be denied. There is a reason God covered our first parents in the garden after their sin. He shows them mercy in alleviating their shame.
Moreover, is the fact that Jesus did the very same thing. He covered our sin and shame and made us whole in Him. And Jesus wants us to live life beyond the remorse of an unguarded heart and into fullness. His righteousness covers us from eternal damnation, but our daily choices impact our living victoriously.
More importantly, He is the answer our unguarded hearts have been yearning for all along.
