E= Engage Others for Support

Time is moving on! It’s already week four of the Strength Approach to Christian Wellness. I pray these last three weeks of strategies will help you establish lasting change. Today’s strategy is E=Engage Others for Support.

Now, the last thing you and I want to do is engage lightly. It is not a flippant effort to get someone else involved in what we are doing. Rather, it involves establishing a meaningful contact or connection. Because, my friend, we cannot do the most challenging things alone.

Take the engagement of Mary to Joseph, for example. The betrothal agreement at that time was in essence a marriage; however, it occurs prior to living together and consummating the marriage. Timothy S. Lane and Paul David Tripp in their book, How People Change point out the many instances in the bible where we, as Christ followers, are married to Christ.

Lane and Tripp ask, “What does it mean to be married to Christ?” Jesus loves us so much he died for us, so his affection in bringing us into relationship with Him is evident. When we are “married” to Christ, we honor him with our attention, our bodies, our consumption of goods, and even our attitudes.

But do we truly honor this engagement? How do we place things, people, food, jobs, success, or money ahead of Him? Lane and Tripp say in their book we are enticed by comfort and after a hard day we think we deserve it. This quote in their book really resonated with me:

“Comfort and leisure are good things, but when my personal comfort becomes more to me than Christ, it impacts my behavior sinfully.”

Tripp & Lane

It sure does! That’s why I need to engage others for support. Honest, bible-believing friends and family are needed who not only encourage me, but hold me accountable for my actions.

Because, my friend, we cannot do the most challenging things alone. Loved ones may not understand at first the desire for new habits. However, earnestly enlisting their attention and support helps the process.

Think about how many times you’ve started a lifestyle habit and someone close to you unwittingly tempts you to take three steps back. 

Maybe well-meaning family and friends like us just the way we are. Or they may begin to feel a little insecure if we change too much. They like comfort and leisure as much as we do! Regardless of their reasons, our loved ones need to understand why our efforts and intentions for a better life are so important.

Sincere conversations with those we love engages them in the change process. When we share the heavy burden of discontentment with the way we are now, they truly understand why we need their support. Especially if the lifestyle change is avoiding certain establishments, vulgar language, violent movies, or bringing tempting items into the house.

Engaging Others for Support, Step by Step

Once the burden in shared, boundaries can be set in place to avoid temping, cajoling, or creation of circumstances to sabotage our efforts. Whether, the focus of our goal is to improve health, relationship, or reduce anxiety, asking for support is acceptable. Here is what this looks like in action:

1. Share your deepest desire to change with your trusted friend or loved one.
2. Tell them what areas you need help in the most. 
3. Ask them to pray with you and for you every day of your challenge.
4. Let them know ahead of time what activities you will not be participating in as you establish new habits.
5. Together, discover new areas of entertainment or activities that are equally enjoyable and place Christ first in our hearts.

Consider the following scriptures:

“Because there is one bread, we who are many are one body, for we all partake of the one bread.  1

Corinthians 10:17

“Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.”

1 Corinthians 10:24

“For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. For in one Spirit, we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.”

1 Corinthians 12:12,13,26

Change is a battle of our flesh against the temptations of the world and God’s will for us. He wants us to have Shalom–wholeness, harmony, delight, and flourishing (1). But our flesh longs for things not created or designed by God to allow Shalom to take place.

So, as you and I engage in this battle to improve our lives with sustainable lifestyle changes, we can call on friends, loved ones, and the body of Christ to encourage us along the way.

I am here with you and rooting for you!

References:

Lane, Timothy S. Tripp, Paul David 2019. How People Change, New Growth Press, Greensboro 27404

McLelland, Kristi, 2019, Jesus and Women In the First Century and Now, Lifeway Publishing, One Lifeway Plaza, Nashville, TN 37234