Mysty PfefferThe three principles of scripture to help us through loss are:
- Love God with All Our Mind
- Be Transformed by the Renewing of Our Mind
- Set Our Mind on the Things Above
Where our mind is set in our daily routine helps us keep our focus when our groove is disrupted. For instance, my pastor lost his dad a couple of weeks ago and my sister in Christ lost her husband. Although he’d been ill, his death was sudden. In the middle of my day, doing regular chores, I think of their loss and send up a prayer. I think about how I would feel if I couldn’t talk to my dad or my husband again. Along with them, a wave of intense grieving overwhelms me. Greif is a hard hitting and persistent fact of life.
And it’s not just occurring with death.
The loss of someone we love is happening in friendships, marriages, among siblings, and among parents and children. The burden for them is just as strong. It’s hard enough to lose someone to death, but when it’s by choice, it sends another message altogether. The death of a loved one is a shock to our system. The emptiness is sudden. Habitually turning to him to say something or picking up the phone to call him happens before we realize he’s not here.
The death of relationships, on the other hand, occur slowly and painfully. We turn to say something to him, and we’re shut down, ignored, or belittled. We make plans with a friend, and she frequently cancels. The call we make is not answered or is rejected.
Can you believe technology has advanced so far, it makes sure we know the minute our texts or calls are rejected? Who would think to make sure you know that on the other end? It sounds like the devil is at work on our mind. But it’s also a wakeup call to assess where our mind is set, and how high above God we place these relationships in our life.
Love God With all Our Mind to Help Us Through Loss
And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.
Matthew 22:36-38 ESV – “Teacher, which is the great – Bible Gateway
What does help that look like?
When we love God with all our mind, we turn to His Word for comfort, wisdom, and knowledge. In the scriptures we fill our mind with His steadfast love, protection, provision, strength, and purpose. The very things we lose from the death of a loved one or a relationship. This principle helps us through loss because it fills us with truth and not lies. Lies say we’re not going to be ok without this person in our lives; we can’t handle the responsibilities alone; or we are not worthy of this person’s love.
But scripture assures us we are not alone, we have God the Father as our provider. He is worthy of our devotion. When we know who He is and how He cares for us, a sense of peace begins to seep into the turmoil. We can take a deep breath, and let it filter through the doubt, fear, and anguish. There are prayers spoken over us and our situation to comfort us through this loss.
Be Transformed by the Renewing of Our Mind to Help Us Through Loss
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2 ESV – Do not be conformed to this world, but – Bible Gateway
How do we discern the will of God? …by testing.
Greif and loss are a test. Conforming to the world’s way of coping is turning inward for a strength that is not always there. It also looks outward to fill the void of emptiness with food, alcohol, smoking, pleasure, or hobbies. Neither way is meeting the needs of our soul or help us through loss.
To be transformed by the renewing of our mind is to accept the things outside our control and trust God anyway. What happens when our loved one is gone or the relationship fizzles? What is the worst part of doing life alone or what is the worst part of not having help? What resources do we have among family and friends that can help us carry the burden of loss?
No matter what the test is, God will ultimately show us, how dependent we are on Him. We can renew our mind by praying for God to help with the rising emotions of pain and loss, as well as the added responsibilities. Also, pray as bitterness takes root to remind us of what should have been. One step at a time, we pick the doable task for the day and push through doing it, knowing God sent His Son Jesus to experience the same loss, rejection, and anguish. He suffered and died to pay for our sins and rose again on the third day to redeem and restore us to the Father. He will walk us through whatever loss we experience.
Set Our Mind on the Things Above to Help Us Through Loss
If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.
Colossians 3 ESV – Put On the New Self – If then you have – Bible Gateway
Lastly, setting our mind on the things above (in Heaven with Christ) helps us through loss because we are here to glorify Him. It brings the perspective of the eternal above the temporal. I can’t help but think of the many families with young children struggling with cancer who are forced to consider this reality prematurely. The many trips to the hospital, the treatments making the child sicker than the disease itself, and the fear of losing them so soon are more tests that put our dependence on God in the limelight.
Yes, we want healing for little ones, comfort in loss, plus restoration for marriages, friendships, and family…but God wants to put to death what is earthly in us. Every test puts us in full view of what really matters in life and draws us closer to God. The times we put our comfort above others, or when we began thinking more highly of ourselves than we ought, are earthly temptations pulling us away from God. As Colossians chapter three clearly shows; coveting, impurity, selfishness, anger, wrath, obscene talk, and evil desires all result when we place our affection for things and people above God.
Setting our mind on the things above also helps us through loss because we are God’s chosen ones, and dearly loved. In Jesus, we put on humility, meekness, compassion, and kindness, as we bear with one another. He calls us to forgive well and often, just as He forgives us! In that difficult test, we let the peace of Christ rule our hearts and be thankful. He is always with us, and we can boldly praise Him. Although His ways and thoughts are beyond what we can understand, we can be sure every loss conforms us closer to His image.
Thank you, and God bless you. I am here for you if you need prayer or help physically or spiritually.
