A change in Perspective: Identifying the lens I’m Looking Through

The Lens of The World

Friend, is there an area of your life where you want to see some changes? It could be in a relationship, a habit, or a pattern of behavior you’d like to see with a fresh set of eyes.

I sure do!

In a bible study, I recently learned the lens I look through varies with each situation I’m experiencing. Can you relate?

For example, when Elijah was on Mt Carmel, God empowered him with confidence as fire fell from heaven and consumed the burnt offering. Yet, this proof of God’s power was not enough to keep him from running scared from his enemy, Jezebel. When she threatened to kill him, he fearfully fled to the wilderness (1 Kings 18:38, 1 Kings 19:1-3). Elijah is looking through the lens of a temporary situation instead of eternity or God’s purpose for him here on earth.

I wonder how many people respond to threats to their lives in a similar fashion. When I hear propaganda regarding medical issues, I look at the data through the lens of four years of nursing school. A solid background of disease processes and God’s design for immunity helps me make an informed decision. Although, I still must respond with gentle conviction to those who are convinced otherwise and live in fear.

The Lens of Relationship

However, in relationships I want to see grow, hold tightly to, and pray for solidarity, I sense distance. What is happening here?  Why do I make it about me and not see how the other person feels?  If I am looking through the lens of a mother, I still want to fix things that hurt my children. And if I’m looking through a wifely lens, I want to feel loved and listened to by my husband.

When they are no longer children, conflict arises because they don’t want their mom to fix their problems. They want her to listen without judgment.

I know, the first response is: “I don’t’ do that!” Let me assure you; I don’t feel like I judge mine either! Although a wise aunt I cried out to in a moment of despair reminded me, “Your whole life is before them as an example. When you live according to God’s word and not according to the flesh, your very actions and way of life make them feel judged.”

Not only that, my husband wants peace to think through his day when he walks in the door, not my onslaught of emotions.

A Change in Perspective

So, a change in perspective is imperative to strengthening these relationships. May the fruit of God’s Spirit override years of insecurity and allow me to respond with grace, love, peace, gentleness, and kindness amid these emotions.

I must be honest with you in these moments; it takes the power of the Holy Spirit to respond this way.

I will stuff my hurt feelings down for years to keep the peace in my family. Yet, it will always simmer below the surface in callous remarks or self-pity. My past brokenness is more likely to burst forth and rear its ugly head when I’m feeling unloved. The thought of people I’ve poured my whole life into not returning my devotion shatters me emotionally. I’ll either respond with anger or withdraw contact.

Even Elijah’s faith was challenged as he poured his whole life into reminding Israel who God is.  He didn’t just remind them of His goodness, mercy, and love but to be aware of God’s judgment. The prophet also urged them to turn from false idols and Baal worship. He didn’t just say what he believed; he lived it. The price is their eternal souls. Yet, exhaustion, lack of nourishment, and remorse for not successfully restoring the relationship of their leader with God left him feeling defeated. 

I am encouraged to hold fast to God and trust Him to bring my relationships through this refining process just as He did with Elijah. When Elijah sat down under the broom tree and begged God to take his life, “for I’m no better than my fathers,” I sense the enemy’s presence to discourage him and cut his mission short. In the same way, he often pains me in my response to my husband and children.

But God! Look what God does in response!

“Suddenly, an angel touched him. The angel told him, “Get up and eat.” Then he looked, and there at his head was a loaf of bread baked over hot stones and a jug of water. So he ate and drank and lay down again. Then the angel of the Lord returned for a second time and touched him. He said, “Get up and eat, or the journey will be too much for you.”

Biblegateway.com

The Lens of Scripture

The gentle care of Elijah at his lowest moment is so empowering today because I know God cares for you and me the same way. He sees the hearts of the people we long to reach in a much more profound manner than we do. God understands their pain, heartache, fears, anger, and uncertainty much more clearly. Not only that, he allows trials to take place in our relationships so both of us can draw closer to Him.

Please reach out to Jesus today in the area of change you’d like to see in your life. Here are the five steps I took this week to turn the tide of my despair into a change in perspective:

  1. Pray and Confess to God my out-of-control emotions
  2. Message and Ask 3 Trusted Sisters to Pray for Me
  3. Message the person feeling hurt by me and apologize.
  4. Let go and trust God to heal, in His timing, what I cannot.
  5. Love people gently, unconditionally, and faithfully, despite how I perceive them treating me.

I admit this week has been rough, and I can’t say I handled it well. But I can say it was authentic. For a person who cries once or twice a year, it was a blessing to see a fresh area of faith in Jesus give me the power to change. By identifying the lens, I look through (past experience, past hurt, stuffing emotions, anger, and rejection), I can see where the enemy tries to threaten me and my relationships.

His ulterior motive is to drive a wedge between God and me, in addition to the people I love.

Sister, if I did not reach out to others and stay rooted in God’s word daily, Satan would have won!

However, the Spirit of the Lord was upon me; he quieted my longing for death and isolation and gave me life and the warmth of his presence. Flashes of His promises came to me in the form of scriptures I’d memorized. The words of my trusted sisters’ encouragement also gave me a calm resolve. I can trust God and His timing and I felt their prayers begin to break apart the ominous cloud over my soul as it began to dwindle.

Moreover, stepping out to make things right with the one feeling wronged the next day helped me appreciate their view of our relationship. It is far from perfect, but loving people well is a start to lasting change in perspective.

Thank you for joining me today, I hope to encourage you body and soul, so click the posts below for nourishing recipes or posts!